turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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