its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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