Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
is wine microwaveable?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
