and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
