clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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