i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
