i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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