I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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