we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
