Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
