I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
