Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if only i could text you this smell
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
