it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Say something about gay babies.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
