I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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