Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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