just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Someone came in the potted fern
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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