thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
