I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
