it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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