just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
