Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
