I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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