At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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