now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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