i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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