if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
