This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
