It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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