His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
