can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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