Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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