hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
