Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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