thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
vagina is talking i cant
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
