The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Randomize
