make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Someone signed my nipple.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
