I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
