I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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