I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
