i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
