cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
