I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
