Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
