no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
