Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
