dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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