Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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