I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The uberlube is also flammable
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize