You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
