were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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