You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize