I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My life is pants optional.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
