You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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