He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
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