i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
