If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
