She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize