I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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