4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
