How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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