i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
