The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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